Jennifer Granholm and The United States Department Energy invite you to receive funding.

We have more money than God and we are going to hand it out like fish to seals.

If you want it, we only ask you to comply with a few little considerations:

1. You have to be a Democrat who gave a huge bunch of political financing to Obama, Clinton or Biden in the form of cash, search engine manipulation, news censorship, West Coast “Political Action Committee’s and or the Palo Alto funds.

2. The Goldman Sachs office of your local Senator must be immediately notified, in advance, so that the Goldman Sachs account manager’s for that Senator can purchase your company stock, and the stock of every supplier to your company. Additionally, everybody at the The United States Department Energy, and all of our “consultants” are going to buy those stocks, in advance, too. For example, all of those folks got tipped off to buy Tesla stock and all of the mining stocks for Tesla’s lithium, cobalt, nickel and other manufacturing materials. For example, Dianne Feinstein and Harry Reid only get paid $190K to be Senators but they pocketed $100M from Tesla-related stock bribes. It’s great!

3. Don’t compete with anything Elon Musk does or we will gut your funds like a fresh deer kill.

4. Don’t mention Jennifer being on The Dating Game or sleeping her way through Los Angeles.

5. Know that Google and Facebook pretty much own us so don’t piss them off or all of your media coverage with evaporate off the Internet.